erin

small sentences

2007-07-14T04:13:37Z

wow. getting married. overwhelmed by the internet (a year and a half without it at home makes me super sensitive to it when I do get connected at the odd place here or there). happy. happy puppy. looking to shift career goals. excited about summer goals. excited. on the edge of...something. something great.

fancyunderpants @ 2007-02-17T23:24:00

2007-02-18T05:28:42Z

Oh, Myspace, you are so contradictory.... wait, I mean, that's how I feel about you, not how you are...I often get the two confused, you know.

Tomorrow we shall do some dancin'. Tonight it's washin'. Clothes, Hands, Dishes, you know, the ushz.

Not too long ago, the anniversary of Meanswell's passing came and went while I sat in a completely different home that he never saw and said, "oh, Mr. Puppy, has it only been a year?" I cried a little and thought about how far away he seemed and how I will love to see him again.

So so so much has happened in a year. I think back on this past year and look at how quickly I've changed, and I can't help but think about how the love of my life has changed just as quickly...which means I've found someone on the same frequency as me. We've changed together.

it's been a while

2007-02-16T21:42:36Z

since I've blogged here. I still don't have internet at my house, maybe that's part of it.
I'm happy. happy happy happy. I still have so much to accomplish in my life, but I feel good with how it's been. I love my Jason and my Mr. Puppy. I love my yoga and my doggie-outing business. happy.

do do do

2006-10-20T14:20:55Z

Oh, man, I'm determined to make a U-turn. I've been feeling low for way too long. And although I have still so many unanswered questions and no real direction to move in, there are some things I can do to feel better. I think I've been working too much, what a surprise. I've allowed myself to get caught in the grind. Today I work on the budget that's been collecting dust, cook, and do some cleaning up in general around here. And start figuring out what my goals are for the next few years.

le sigh

2006-10-10T14:39:47Z

It's been a long time, lj. I have no internet access, with no possibility of getting one in sight. My birthday money has gone to my electricity bill, as has Jason's bday money. I'm feeling the strange emotional after effects of his mother's passing. This is the hard part. This is the hard part.
This is the very first birthday ever that I've felt low on. So I guess I'd better buck up, and make the best of my birthday, huh? I also started my period today, so I'm sure that has something to do with my mood.

Today will end up being a good day, though, I plan on making that happen.

Pandora's Box

2006-07-29T00:39:10Z

Tomorrow at 10:30am at the Alley Theatre in the Neuhaus Theatre, the Young Performers Studio will present their short works. The show totals about an hour, it's free, there are refreshments, and it's guaranteed to be entertaining. We've got a show about a poetry-writing shark, a little ant who would rather listen to her aPod than work, a staging of The Jabberwocky, and an adaptation of Pandora's Box.

come see it!

Here's an excerpt from Pandora's Box (my kids, the 8-9 grade)

Mt. Olympus-

Fran: Mt. Olympus, Fran speaking, please hold. Mt. Olympus, this is Fran, hold please. Thank you for holding... yes, we're thrilled you like your fire. Well, we are awfully powerful you know. Thanks for your call.

(enter)Hermes: Does Zeus know about you-know-what yet?

Fran: Looks like you're the lucky one who gets to tell him, Hermes. Mt. Olympus...yes, yes, we know he's not going to be happy.

(offstage)Zeus: WHAT?!

Fran: He knows. I'll have to get back to you.

(entering)Zeus: What do you mean Prometheus stole fire from us and gave it to the humans?! How could he do this to me?

Hera: Oh, that old news? You are so out of the loop sometimes, Zeus.

Zeus: Fran! Call the others at once. We're having an emergency meeting.

exerpt 2; the meeting of the gods:

Aphrodite: So why the emergency meeting? Oh, is this about that whole "Prometheus stole fire and gave it to the humans thing? Didn't we punish him for that?

Zeus: Yeah, but I thought that whole cliff idea was kinda tacky.

Hera: That was my idea!

Aphrodite: That explains it.

Zeus: Fran! Bring us some clay!

Hera: oooo, are we making something?

Zeus: Yes. I thought we'd repay the humans by sending them a little surprise.

Aphrodite: Like what?

Zeus: I don't know yet

Hermes: Oh! Maybe we could make it like when we sent them the cockroaches, except put it in a box so they have to unleash their woes on themselves!

Zeus: I know! I just had a genius idea! We could make it just like when we sent them cockroaches, but put it in something they have to open, like a box! Then they unleash their woes on themselves!

(all agree)

This is followed by the making of Pandora, sending her down with the box containing Hate, Greed, Jealousy, and Despair, played by the same kids who played the Gods.

These kids wrote this thing themselves and I'm so proud of them!

fancyunderpants @ 2006-06-26T20:39:00

2006-06-27T01:42:29Z

"Teaching Artist"... I suppose it was inevitable... and I suppose it's rewarding... those kids drain me, though. They need so much energy. I really miss acting, and at the same time, I know I can go back to it. This period of my life in which I can identify with 13 year olds will (hopefully) be shortlived. They're so exhausting.

I'm lucky I have an amazing support base at home. Jason, I love you so. More than a year strong, with so much more to go.

Armed with my Baby and a Roomba so thoughtfully given as housewarming from my parents, how could life not be good?

apartment

2006-03-30T06:15:10Z

...approved. We'll be starting the move on Sat, probably finishing in two weeks or so...

a little rushed, and not nearly as organized as I'd like, but...

in just a short time I'll be sleeping with my cuddle bear in our very own little hut.

please please please let me get what I want

2006-03-28T05:26:15Z

My honey bear and I have found the perfect apartment. Hopefully they let us live there. By Wed, we'll know whether or not we'll be sleeping in a 2 story loft bungalow on Richmond Sat. night.

blamar

2006-03-26T21:02:43Z

I feel a little blechy today. I think I'm overworked...well, DUUUUUUHHHH! 5 jobs, 7 days a week. I'm looking for a day off at this point. A DAY OFF, PEOPLE!!! Yes, I did just get back from a ski vacation, and it was lots of fun, but also lots of work.

I need a day at my house. I need to clean first of all, but after, I say AFTER that cleaning day, I need an entire day off!

I was doing so well giving myself days off...I'm not sure what happened.
It should only be another month or so, and then I'll have some money saved up, Jason and I will be in our own place (which has to happen sometime in the next week, OMG!), and I'll be able to relaxxxxxx.

Yes, I love my jobS, No, I don't think I'm going to get sick, but I'm never home. I don't like never being home.

ski Alta 1 (copied from my Myspace blog, upon the realization that I didn't post it here)

2006-03-26T20:58:25Z

I'm in Utah and it's hard to breathe. The altitude doesn't allow much breathing room. Went on my very first run today,(my first skiing trip was all ice, so I stayed on the bunny hills for that one), and thought I would DIE! The 5th time I fell, I started crying. My goggles kept the crying secret,

So I could...

call out to the others (from my faceplant in the snow), take off my goggles with tears streaming and say "I know it's a green run, and there's only one more hill, but I just can't do it, and I'm going to walk down. Here, will you take my skis?"

OR

stand up and finish the run.

And I'm proud to say that's what I did.

And then I did it again...only with an instructor this time, so not so many faceplants.

And my legs are killing me.

I Love Skiing!!!

ski Mt. Alta Utah, day 2

2006-03-21T02:33:16Z

My motto for today is...

"fuck falling"

Not Once, Dear Audience, NOT ONCE did I bury my face in the bank, I thank my breathing for that.

It's sure to take a turn tomorrow, seeing as I "travel along," as my dear Mama would say, meaning that I tear down that mountain like a whore out of Salt Lake City.

Tomorrow I plan to learn to take turns with control, and break my addiction to speed (the velocity, not the..well, you get it).

Livingston Clark has promised to accompany me on the slopes and keep wth me, and give me pointers along the way.

My dear family has stuck by me and travelled down the hill with me (yesterday) at a pace that would make a sloth look like a snowmobile...this is the basic principle of sticking by your fellow organism that I have learned from my dear family and friends, and which I have determined is the basis of all love and happiness.

I feel a little disappointed that my speed phase was so short. I love just going, and feeling that by giving in to the loss of control, I gain more control than I ever could've imagined.

giving in = ease = peace

so nice.

Although I miss my loverboy. I intend to bring him to the slopes within the next year.

boys who act like babies

2006-03-04T16:51:13Z

Right now I am sitting in a room at Strake Jesuit, proctoring an SAT Review for about 20 teenage college prep studends. Did I mention that Strake Jesuit is an all boys school?

20 teenage boys who never see women. I've never seen a group of people vying for attention so hard. Like 3 year olds. Oh, no, it's not what you think. By "vying for attention," I don't mean trying to talk to me or open doors for me or flirting or anything like that. I mean "trying to get a rise out of." Teenage boys can be such assholes. It tickles me. Fortunately for me, there's very little that intimidates me in this world (esp. after working with kids who are from severely broken homes in the inner city), so I really don't give a shit if they try to play pranks or throw pencils in the celing or use their test booklets as kleenex.
I think it's funny that so many people at Princeton Review warned me about these boys. I got all kinds of cautionary advice, and truth be told, there's nothing about a room full of boys who act like toddlers that scares me. I imagine that the problem in the past has been that the female proctors have tried to be nice.
Ok, now, I'm not mean, but "nice" is not really how I deal with act-uppy teenage boys. The no reaction policy seems to work, and really I have to try not to laugh. They're just so silly. They think they're all grown up because they just acquired grown up bodies, but they goof off and fidget and have runny noses like a bunch of 4 year olds.
And it's always so easy to pick out the worst one. He's always sitting alone yet knows everyone in the room, asks the same quistions over and over again, and plays dumb through the whole thing.

Silly silly.

AHEM! Fulfill my Ego's desire

2006-03-04T05:26:11Z

HEY!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=fancyunderpants

!!!!!!

fancyunderpants @ 2006-02-27T15:10:00

2006-02-27T21:14:34Z

Many much jobs for the Erin.

Good jobs.

Fun jobs.

Keeps me very very busy.

Walk dogs, Shakespeare Outreach, Interactive Theatre w/Mothers for Clean Air, proctoring for Princeton Review, auditions coming up.

Hustle and bustle.

Got my yoga practice going at home, now I don't have time for class.
*sigh* someday the two will come together.

Experiencing some opening and emotional release through cleanse. It's pretty rocky. Lots of crying and confusion and uncertainty, only to find that everything's ok.

I love Jason.

fancyunderpants @ 2006-02-24T18:07:00

2006-02-25T00:08:25Z

money matters are making me moan

fancyunderpants @ 2006-02-16T14:32:00

2006-02-16T20:40:41Z

Obstacle shmobstacle.

I'm so lucky to have Jason in my life. We're so sickeningly in love right now. We're the couple that makes everyone say "ew, gross, ok, ok, we know you're all mushy and in love," and I don't care.

We are mushy and in love and excited about each other, and it's great!

And when things get hard, he works with me and not against me, and I find that to be so exquisitly priceless. I just feel so lucky to have him in my life.

fancyunderpants @ 2006-02-16T08:05:00

2006-02-16T14:09:17Z

I'm being haunted by recurring issues. And there's that feeling of "oh, yeah, these don't go away, they just put on a new costume and come back again."
My issues are like visitors in the form of those around me. It's pretty interesting.

So some of them are back, naturally.

But I'll not be taken in surprise attack this time.

CHAAAAARRRRRGE!!!

My Valentine

2006-02-15T14:35:56Z

My Valentine's Day was fantastic.
Thanks, Jason, you're an awesome Valentine.

fancyunderpants @ 2006-02-13T17:59:00

2006-02-13T23:59:22Z

So the BFC and I have decided on a move out date. April 1st, we move out of my parents' house, and into Chateau Jason&Erin, wherever that may be. It's looking like it may have to be in the Friendshood, but I'm really hoping for something closer to the loop. We'll see. If we do stay out here, it'll be temporary. We both want to live closer in, but money is an issue right now, and having lived in a one bedroom with a boyfriend before, I insist on a two bedroom. I want to spare Jason the neuroses that I seem to develop when I live in close quarters with another person. I've just come to realize that I need me time and that includes me space as well. Otherwise I go NUTS!!!

I got my diploma in the mail. 8 long years for that piece of paper. I'm so glad I finished, and I'm looking forward to going back eventually for the next piece of paper.

I can't wait until we have our own place! It's going to totally rock. It's going to be soooooo chill and cozy.

those darn growth opportunities

2006-02-13T15:27:49Z

Ah, my knees.

About 15 years ago, I had my left knee operated on to smooth out the cartilage behind the kneecap. It had become so rough that it wasn't allowing my kneecap to sit properly, and I had very serious chronic dislocations of this joint. The following summer, I dislocated my right kneecap and had it operated on as well. My surgeon told me that running was not an option for me anymore.

Fast forward -

I love jogging. And I love walking, so I've been slowly working back up to the jogging I was doing a few years ago. Mr. Puppy and I have been enjoying walks around the track at Memorial Park every other day for a couple of months. I've been taking several yoga classes a week (sometimes a few in one day), and have been excited about the adventure of my own practice.

I woke up recently in the middle of the night to excrutiating pain in my left knee. I had to start modifying poses in my yoga classes to avoid pain all through the knee. Finally, I saw Julie Byrd (our resident rehab/core yoga specialist at Boustany's) about it...my left kneecap is tracking noticably crooked. Where most people's knees will track straight up their leg when they straighten it, mine goes to the outside of the leg. It's pretty bad, but it's fixable.

What this means, though, is no more walks for a while, and very very modified rehab yoga. Crap. I was going too fast, I guess. I don't want to deal with this again, but I'm realizing that I'll always be dealing with it. I'll be rehabilitating my knees for the rest of my life. I'm just glad Julie caught it before the dislocations started.

And this is a good opportunity for me to listen to my body and actually care for it and be patient and help it heal.

fancyunderpants @ 2006-02-13T09:16:00

2006-02-13T15:16:55Z

http://kevan.org/johari?name=fancyunderpants

fairy princess morning

2006-02-11T15:55:59Z

It's been a long time since I've awakened in the morning and thought "damn, I wish I didn't have to....," or had to be anywhere I didn't want to be. I'm planning on making this lovely phase last as long as possible. I'm working hard, but it's all at things I love.

speaking of things I love....

Jason McCullough rocks. He's so good to me and so gentle and passionate at the same time... I just want to eat him up...maybe in a nice sandwich with almond butter...

geez, I guess I'm busy after all ;)

2006-02-07T00:11:36Z

My goodness, but it feels like it's been a while.

Wondergirl is open at Main Street Theatre, and is doing well so far. Right now I'm-----

In Training For:
March ski trip (Me and Mister are taking loooooots of long walks)
Houston Shakespeare Festival auditions
Children's Theatre Festival auditions
Houston Co-op auditions

Looking Forward To:
taking more yoga (I'm up to classes with 4 teachers)
Valentine's Day (I'm cheesy like that)
Bernard Hiller acting workshop in March
moving (hopefully in March)
researching graduate schools
eating my homemade non dairy cheese in the morning (after it's done setting)
writing a modernized Macbeth with a few high school students
finishing all the clearing out of my room & attic (almost done!)

Various Jobs:
faux finishing assistant
Shakespeare Outreach company member
dog walker

Perspective Job:
Mothers For Clean Air children's workshop leader

Frustration for the Day:
while making lentil soup, I poured it into the food processor and the blade wasn't screwed down all the way. The result? Lentil soup broth all over the counter, and a substandard soup with veggie stock added at the last minute. Grrrr.

twirl twirl

2006-02-01T00:27:46Z

I'm sooooo sore. My new job is working my mus-cles. I'm glad. And I still have so much to do!! But all good, aaaaallll good. I've got several jobs lined up, and the lovely and talented Jason brought me home a nice bottle of cab. to celebrate both of us getting jobs. How lovely. I think I'll go relax with that before I start adapting Macbeth for two very devoted high school students.